The Postman's Reign
written by Jan Wilson
The last thing you want is a special delivery from Milo.
Logline: Milo is your friendly neighborhood postman -- with an unhealthy interest in your mail...and your life. A shy, overlooked postman manipulates his control over the mail to win the love of a woman on his route. Along the way he secretly distributes rewards and punishments to the neighborhood residents based on their behavior and his skewed sense of justice. Milo rules this kingdom of southeast London, and the residents are his unknowing subjects.
Logline: Milo is your friendly neighborhood postman -- with an unhealthy interest in your mail...and your life. A shy, overlooked postman manipulates his control over the mail to win the love of a woman on his route. Along the way he secretly distributes rewards and punishments to the neighborhood residents based on their behavior and his skewed sense of justice. Milo rules this kingdom of southeast London, and the residents are his unknowing subjects.
Think of Milo as a darker cousin of Amelie crossed with Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver with a streak of a lovesick Romeo.
Darkly romantic psychological thriller set in present day London. Eight episodes.
Darkly romantic psychological thriller set in present day London. Eight episodes.
Summary
You ever stop to think about how much your postman really knows about you? Bills, love letters, legal notices, personal parcels...he has more control over your life than you think. Milo knows this...and he uses it.
Milo is a postman who delivers mail in a working-class suburb of London. No one really takes much notice of him each day as he goes along his route. To the residents of the neighborhood Milo is just “the postman.” And this anonymity suits Milo just fine.
Through his years of posting, Milo has learned everyone’s routines, the players in their lives, their habits and tendencies. He has constant and easy access to people’s mail. Bills, love letters, legal notices, personal parcels…he sees it all, and he has more control over their lives than they would ever imagine. It is like reading a novel and the residents of Milo’s postal district are the characters. He uncovers the personal details of their lives and revels in the secrets only he knows about. Milo wields a strange kind of power with this information.
Milo’s undercover trespasses stir up feeling inside of him. These are no longer just strangers on his route. He knows them now. Some of them he pities and wants to help. Others he despises and wants to destroy. This leads him to an even higher level of customer service. Milo gets involved. Really involved. Safe in his anonymity, Milo manipulates their lives. He metes out rewards and punishments based on his own skewed sense of justice. Sometimes with angelic grace, other times with severe force.
Milo is a postman who delivers mail in a working-class suburb of London. No one really takes much notice of him each day as he goes along his route. To the residents of the neighborhood Milo is just “the postman.” And this anonymity suits Milo just fine.
Through his years of posting, Milo has learned everyone’s routines, the players in their lives, their habits and tendencies. He has constant and easy access to people’s mail. Bills, love letters, legal notices, personal parcels…he sees it all, and he has more control over their lives than they would ever imagine. It is like reading a novel and the residents of Milo’s postal district are the characters. He uncovers the personal details of their lives and revels in the secrets only he knows about. Milo wields a strange kind of power with this information.
Milo’s undercover trespasses stir up feeling inside of him. These are no longer just strangers on his route. He knows them now. Some of them he pities and wants to help. Others he despises and wants to destroy. This leads him to an even higher level of customer service. Milo gets involved. Really involved. Safe in his anonymity, Milo manipulates their lives. He metes out rewards and punishments based on his own skewed sense of justice. Sometimes with angelic grace, other times with severe force.
His anonymous manipulations become painfully personal when he falls in love with a woman on his route. She is his Juliet, but he is no Romeo. Milo takes the path of least humiliation and puts pen to paper, and woos her anonymously. On paper he is pretty damned charming...but in person he is a disaster.
But there is a point for Milo when the fear of rejection by her is outweighed by the pain and suffering he endures staying anonymous. His self-appointed role as judge and enforcer to the people on his route collides disastrously with his efforts to hold on to the love of his life.
Series Structure
Everyone has a postman. Some of us know ours by name and chat with him, some only know him by sight, but most of us don’t pay him any mind. You ever stop to think about how much your postman really knows about you? Bills, love letters, legal notices, personal parcels...he has more control over your life than you think. Milo knows this...and uses it.
The Postman’s Reign will take us into Milo’s world. We will see how he uses his secret knowledge to anonymously manipulate people’s lives. He’s pretty confident ruling over his little kingdom, that is until he decides that it’s time to make himself known to Maria, the woman he’s been wooing with secret love letters. Not so confident there.
Milo’s domain in southeast London is a working class area and we will see a true slice of life in London as we follow the stories of some of the people on Milo’s route.
Each episode plays off the previous one. Details are planted early on that pay off in later episodes much the same way Vince Gilligan does in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul until everyone’s storylines converge, sometimes violently and dramatically, in the season finale.
Though The Postman’s Reign is sometimes dark and tragic at other times it’s funny and charming. It deals with issues of romance, manipulating other people’s lives and making noble choices.
This storyline comes to a close after eight episodes. Season two will be set in a completely different setting with all new characters, much like what was done with True Detective. Season two can be set anywhere, we will meet a new mail carrier perhaps in a grim area in Edinburgh, Scotland or a very posh area of London such as Mayfair. San Francisco or Nova Scotia. Anywhere…because everyone has a postman.
The Postman’s Reign will take us into Milo’s world. We will see how he uses his secret knowledge to anonymously manipulate people’s lives. He’s pretty confident ruling over his little kingdom, that is until he decides that it’s time to make himself known to Maria, the woman he’s been wooing with secret love letters. Not so confident there.
Milo’s domain in southeast London is a working class area and we will see a true slice of life in London as we follow the stories of some of the people on Milo’s route.
Each episode plays off the previous one. Details are planted early on that pay off in later episodes much the same way Vince Gilligan does in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul until everyone’s storylines converge, sometimes violently and dramatically, in the season finale.
Though The Postman’s Reign is sometimes dark and tragic at other times it’s funny and charming. It deals with issues of romance, manipulating other people’s lives and making noble choices.
This storyline comes to a close after eight episodes. Season two will be set in a completely different setting with all new characters, much like what was done with True Detective. Season two can be set anywhere, we will meet a new mail carrier perhaps in a grim area in Edinburgh, Scotland or a very posh area of London such as Mayfair. San Francisco or Nova Scotia. Anywhere…because everyone has a postman.
Characters
Milo Finch, 40ish, is a postman who delivers mail in southeast London. Originally he wanted to be a police constable, but for reasons he’d rather not go into he failed the entrance exams. He ended up delivering mail because there was an opening, he needed a job, so he took it. He’s good at his job, been doing it many years. After so long of delivering mail everyday and watching the neighborhoods he now knows everything about everyone on his route. It just happened naturally. But after a while Milo began using this knowledge as he saw fit. He’s a bit plain, and his frumpy postman’s uniform does nothing to enhance his appearance. He’s a bit shy, especially with women, but he’s found a way to express his feelings: he writes really great love letters. He’s great on paper, but in person he’s a disaster. He’s comfortable with sending anonymous letters and staying safely hidden.
Maria, mid 30s, is originally from Portugal, but moved to London a few years ago. She’s been working in the Cataplana Café for over a year, and started dating a regular customer, Franco, who owns a shop several doors from the café. She’s very content and happy with her little life though she does miss Portugal from time to time. Her customers love her for her gentleness and easy charm.
Kiki, early 20s, lives with her Mum and Dad in southeast London and as Kiki herself will tell you, she’s not retarded, she’s just a little slow. Kiki loves a life of rigid structure and always tells it like it is in her brash and loud manner. She’s one of those unfiltered people who say all of the things that we all wish we could say. One of the highlights of her day is seeing Milo the postman and occasionally shadowing him on his route.
Derrick, late 20s, is a macho dim bulb with a beer-addled brain usually in polyester sweatpants and a Star Wars t-shirt. He’s obsessed with Star Wars and has aspiration to turn his collection of Star Wars paraphernalia into a financial empire. You just know his bedroom reeks of dirty laundry. Derrick never senses when a conversation is winding down, he just plows on through and keeps it going. Milo tries to avoid conversation with him each day, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.
Arthur, mid 30s, is a dapper college professor and Milo’s brother-in-law. He and Milo are friends and occasionally meet at the pub for a few pints. He’s married to Milo’s sister so he can’t join Milo’s romantic adventures, he can only listen and give advice. He usually tries to reel Milo in and help him lower his wild expectations, but part of Arthur is secretly jealous of Milo’s romantic endeavors with the love letters. Arthur has his own opportunity to have an illicit romance when one of his students flirts with him and indicates she’s open for more than just flirting.
Franco, mid 30s, is a happy-go-lucky guy who is dating Maria. Like Maria, he is Portuguese, but he’s been in London most of his life. Though he’s happy and always has a good time wherever he goes, overall he doesn’t have much ambition in life and aimlessly shifts from one endeavor to another without much follow through.
Mrs. Kendall, elderly woman who lives alone and always seems very lonely. She's unable to leave her house so her entire social life is constrained to whoever comes to her front door. Milo tries to chat with her and keep her spirits up, but he doesn't always have time for her. When he finds out the reason she is house-bound he devises a plan to help her.
Maria, mid 30s, is originally from Portugal, but moved to London a few years ago. She’s been working in the Cataplana Café for over a year, and started dating a regular customer, Franco, who owns a shop several doors from the café. She’s very content and happy with her little life though she does miss Portugal from time to time. Her customers love her for her gentleness and easy charm.
Kiki, early 20s, lives with her Mum and Dad in southeast London and as Kiki herself will tell you, she’s not retarded, she’s just a little slow. Kiki loves a life of rigid structure and always tells it like it is in her brash and loud manner. She’s one of those unfiltered people who say all of the things that we all wish we could say. One of the highlights of her day is seeing Milo the postman and occasionally shadowing him on his route.
Derrick, late 20s, is a macho dim bulb with a beer-addled brain usually in polyester sweatpants and a Star Wars t-shirt. He’s obsessed with Star Wars and has aspiration to turn his collection of Star Wars paraphernalia into a financial empire. You just know his bedroom reeks of dirty laundry. Derrick never senses when a conversation is winding down, he just plows on through and keeps it going. Milo tries to avoid conversation with him each day, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.
Arthur, mid 30s, is a dapper college professor and Milo’s brother-in-law. He and Milo are friends and occasionally meet at the pub for a few pints. He’s married to Milo’s sister so he can’t join Milo’s romantic adventures, he can only listen and give advice. He usually tries to reel Milo in and help him lower his wild expectations, but part of Arthur is secretly jealous of Milo’s romantic endeavors with the love letters. Arthur has his own opportunity to have an illicit romance when one of his students flirts with him and indicates she’s open for more than just flirting.
Franco, mid 30s, is a happy-go-lucky guy who is dating Maria. Like Maria, he is Portuguese, but he’s been in London most of his life. Though he’s happy and always has a good time wherever he goes, overall he doesn’t have much ambition in life and aimlessly shifts from one endeavor to another without much follow through.
Mrs. Kendall, elderly woman who lives alone and always seems very lonely. She's unable to leave her house so her entire social life is constrained to whoever comes to her front door. Milo tries to chat with her and keep her spirits up, but he doesn't always have time for her. When he finds out the reason she is house-bound he devises a plan to help her.
Episode Guide
Pilot:
Milo trudges along house to house in a working class London neighborhood delivering his mail. Most ignore him. He’s just “the postman.” One sweet old woman, Mrs. Kendall, meets him at her door. They have their usual exchange – she hopes for some ‘good’ mail, and Milo disappoints her daily. Only bills and catalogues. No one writes to this lonely old woman. Milo chats with her, jokes with her and brings a little sunshine to her drab day.
Later Milo takes a break, leans on a garden wall halfway down the road. Makes notes in a small, unofficial-looking notebook. “Number 28 Welling Street, student loans three years in default now, third letter re: threat of wage garnishments...number 30 Welling Street, child support payments stopped three months ago, new lawyer on the case...lots of typos...not terribly professional...” Observations and details about his customers that are much too personal to be of any “official” use.
“Number 32 Welling Street...Jamaican man, mother of his child still in prison on charges of selling marijuana, child stays with his sister...cold bastard...” Milo narrows his eyes in concentration... straining to remember before continuing with his notes. “Two letters a week from Holloway Prison... childlike handwriting.... And still nothing for Mrs. Kendall, only bills and advertisement flyers. Daughter in...Nottingham? Son in Shropshire. But still...nothing.”
Glances at his large satchel -- an envelope with a loose flap catches his eye. He pries the envelope open expertly with one hand, snatches several 10 pound notes out of it, and pockets them. He glares over at the Jamaican man sunning himself in his tiny front garden. “Stupid man...sending cash to the insurance company. It says right on it, line five – ‘do not send cash!’”
He is interrupted by the brash Kiki, an overly-friendly mildly retarded woman who latches onto Milo on his daily rounds. He is used to her, and they walk together to the Portuguese café where Milo stops for lunch each day. Kiki chatters about her passion, betting on dog races. On the street they notice a man being abusive to his dog. Kiki begins to shout at him, but Milo silences her. “That’s no way to handle this,” he says a bit enigmatically.
At the café, Milo tolerates Kiki shadowing him as he waits for his brother-in-law Arthur to join him for lunch. Milo returns from the restroom to see that Kiki has sat in his seat and is reading the menu. Her loud voice rings out. “Mr. Paddy - receives checks on the second Friday of every month. Number 128 Cody Avenue, Mrs. Larson, goes for hair appointment every other Friday...” Shit! She's not reading the menu, she's got his notebook! “Why do you need to know those things, Milo?” Milo whips his notebook out of her hands before anyone pays any notice to them. The implications are lost on her. She happily shows Milo that she has a notebook too. She keeps track of what she wears each day, what her dog eats, what her mum wore each day. Routine things that help her navigate through life. Milo is slightly flattered to see that he merits a page too. The fact that Milo wears the same dark blue postal uniform everyday appeals to Kiki’s sense of routine.
Arthur, a literature professor, joins Milo for lunch, and Kiki is waved off to another table. Arthur and Milo joke and argue good-naturedly until Arthur comes to the heart of the matter. “Which one is she?” Arthur knows Milo well, and knows that Milo has a crush on a waitress who works here, and would logically choose her table at which to sit. Arthur is right. When Maria the waitress approaches, Milo is suddenly tongue-tied and goofy. Arthur urges Milo to speak up, charm her, woo her. Milo says that he IS wooing her…in his own way. “Oh Jesus, not those letters again?”
Milo mentions to Arthur that the Jamaican man on his route is a drug dealer who is letting his girlfriend take the fall for him. “She writes all the time from prison. Childlike writing, probably not very bright.” Arthur sympathizes but states, “I don’t even want to know how you know that.” Pretty detailed information for a postman to know.
Milo watches as Maria absent-mindedly winds her necklace around her finger, shortening the chain then gently biting on the pendant. “She always does that,” Milo says, adoring her habitual quirk. Milo watches as she picks up the letter that he himself has just delivered, always in a pale blue envelope. She smiles, and pockets the letter.
Maria’s letter is charming, romantic and endearing. But it is only signed “Browning” at the end, in reference to the poet Robert Browning who wrote many romantic poems and love letters to Elizabeth Barrett, whom he later married.
But Maria has a boyfriend, Franco, who runs a shop down the road. A nice enough man, but to Milo the simple fact that Maria is his girlfriend means that Franco has committed the ultimate crime. Franco gives Maria a surprise – modern gold earrings. A sweet gesture by Franco that will surely be used against him by Milo’s devious ways.
At home Milo expertly doctors a postcard to look as if it were sent from Loch Ness and smudges a vague signature at the bottom. He chats with his cat Nicky as he works on his masterpiece postcard. Together they decide to make the illegible signature start with an M since many of names start with M.
While sorting his day’s post, Milo skillfully and gracefully steals officially looking envelopes from a bulk mailing. He obviously knows what goes in and out of the post every week.
Back at the post office Milo’s coworkers are dazzled when Milo shows off his amazing savant-like skill of being able to accurately tell what’s in each piece of mail by looking only at the back of each envelope. He even knows how to tell which greeting cards have cash and which have checks without opening them. He stops a coworker from stealing a £5 note from a child’s birthday card.
While delivering a package to Mr. Percy, the abusive man with the dog, Milo sees the dog is being kept in a cage far too small. This dog is suffering at her owner’s hands. Milo says nothing. Makes a note in his notebook, then goes on his way.
Kiki attends one of her usual socialization events in a community center along with other mentally handicapped and slower people. Kiki gets a bit boisterous and overexcited, tossing her full cup of punch onto the table. One of the chaperones, a tall thin kind-looking woman, gently scolds her for being too impulsive. Kiki is clearly unhappy with being scolded.
Milo surfs the net on a community computer at work. After he leaves, a few coworkers enter and laughingly say that no one uses these computers for work-related things. To prove their point they go to the browser and click on the last website that was viewed: “Pyramid Products” – the site Milo was on. They’re horrified. It’s a porn site with kids well below the age of consent. Luckily for Milo they don’t know who last used that computer.
As they sit in a pub, Arthur nudges Milo to flirt with a woman. As Milo is failing miserably trying to be suave and charming in person, Maria is at home devouring Milo’s anonymous love letter which is full of charm and romance. The difference between Milo-in-person and Milo-on-paper is never more evident. In person he is a social disaster.
At home, Milo waits as Nicky poops in the litter box. “More please,” Milo encourages his cat to do more. Milo takes the poopy litter, mixes it with some other foul garbage, and strategically places some junk mail into the mix. This is junk mail that Milo has held back from Franco’s shop – with Franco’s name and address clearly displayed.
That night, Milo gleefully sprawls his junk mail and garbage concoction all down the high street near Franco’s shop.
At Arthur’s house he sets the table as his wife Janine, Milo’s sister, makes dinner. Arthur mentions that he saw her brother earlier. He mentions the love letters but Janine only says “Oh, those bloody love letters again.” Arthur isn’t quite so dismissive of them. “I don’t, know, love letters, wooing, romance, those things are sadly going out of fashion. I think that’s a shame.” But Janine sees no romance in Milo’s behavior. “No wonder he didn’t pass the psych test to a be a PC.” (Police constable.) Arthur grabs some candlesticks and puts them on the table. When she asks him what he’s doing, he says he thought they could do with a bit of romance. She gestures to the TV and couch and says “But…I kinda wanted to watch Bixby and Riggs. It’s season finale.” He just says “Oh. Alright.” And puts the candles back.
In a fast food joint Franco scarfs down his burger, Maria picks at her fries. He excitedly tells her what his cousin told him. The cousin was talking to an older family friend who was dying to take a road trip on a motorcycle out in the countryside, but didn’t know how to ride one. So the cousin rode him down to Brighton taking the scenic route, they ate at a beach cafe and then rode back, taking a different route. The man said it was a dream come true and was so grateful to the cousin that he ended up giving the cousin £200. The cousin tells Franco that they should start their own company where they take people like that on day trips. And for extra money they would even do weekend trips up to the Lake District or wherever the people wanted to go. Maria nods, “Yeah, that could work.” He asks why she isn’t more excited. Maria says he always starts things but doesn’t finish them. “You were going to give guitar lessons, then you wanted to give Portuguese lessons. Those could’ve been done easily out of he back room of the store or at home. And you still didn’t bother.” “But this is a really good idea.” “Yes. But you had no interest in this yesterday. And I think no interest tomorrow.”
The next day, Milo greets the lonely Mrs. Kendall. Today he has some ‘good’ mail for her! Looks like someone sent her a postcard from Loch Ness. They can’t read the messy signature, but Milo thinks the name begins with M. She thinks about it and thinks it might’ve been sent by a past boarder named Marshall. Milo agrees that yep, the signature probably says Marshall. Someone remembered her! She cradles her cherished postcard. Milo beams. Another happy customer.
Kiki is with her mum on the train platform trying to make their way through the crowd to head home. Mum runs into someone she knows, and as mums tend to do she stands there for ages chatting. Kiki is bored, impatient standing on the crowded platform. She kicks a big heavy trashcan repeatedly. Loudly. Several steps away Kiki’s chaperone from her earlier event turns when she hears the noise. The chaperone shakes her head no and wags her disapproving finger at Kiki. With her mum’s back turned there is no one to stop Kiki as she impulsively leaps forward and shoves the chaperone, hard! Kiki turns back around to her mum before she even notices that he chaperone teeters on the edge of the platform just as the train approaches. At the last second a stranger grabs the chaperone and pulls her to safety. Kiki doesn’t even notice…or maybe she doesn’t care.
Franco mentions to Milo that he is going to take Maria to a special flower show over in Camberwell. Maria has said how she misses the semi-tropical flowers of Portugal. Franco is determined to put some effort into this date to impress Maria, who for some reason seems a bit distracted lately. Franco doesn’t know about her secret pile of pale blue love letters and the tokens of her secret admirer’s affections – leaves, rocks, natural things that “Browning” claims mimics her natural beauty. Surely when her secret admirer claims that modern garish things like bright gold jewelry do not suit her natural beauty it is a coincidence that she just received such a gift from Franco.
Milo is in high spirits after visiting Franco and seeing his junk mail garbage handiwork did the trick. He even invites Kiki to join him for lunch. Milo is amused at hearing a “my-ailment-is-worse-than-yours” competition between two old ladies at the next table. A crabby old Portuguese woman berates her friend for thinking that swollen ankles were worth complaining about. After all, the crabby old Portuguese woman accidentally ate peanuts last week, and her eyes were swollen shut for two days – surely that’s worse than swollen ankles. Though Milo is amused at the conversation, Kiki takes offence at the old lady’s berating tone and loudly chastises her. Maria intervenes and calms Kiki down, and Milo is even more taken by her gentle and sweet demeanor.
Later in the cafe, Maria confides in her friend Alma, saying she wishes Franco was more like her secret admirer, “Browning.” At the height of her frustration Maria says “I wish I could be with him. Browning, come rescue me!” Milo nearly tips over his tea when he overhears her. This changes everything! Dare he make himself known?
Episode 2:
Milo sits in a park writing a love letter for Maria. But he is distracted when he sees a little freckled-faced girl strolling nearby with her parents. The parents walk hand-in-hand. The girl walks lags behind, left all on her own. Milo watches her…perhaps a little too closely.
Franco tells Maria that he and his cousin are serious about their motorcycle tour endeavor. The cousin knows a guy who will sell his bike to Franco, and they’re off to see him up in Palmer’s Green. She wants to believe this time he’ll follow through, so she encourages him to go up to North London to take a look.
Milo waits for his order in the brightly lit Chinese take-away. He sees a mini-poster taped to the wall. "Camberwell Flower Show". With the grace of an experienced thief he glides over, pulls it down, rolls it up, shoves it in his pocket before anyone even looks in his direction.
At home with a mouth full of Chinese food Milo skillfully doctors the date on the poster. Instead of the date reading the 14th, it now reads the 15th.
On his rounds the next day, Milo is cornered by dimwitted Derrick, late 20s but still living at home with his mum. Derrick is eager to show Milo his Star Wars collection. Derrick is quick to point out that he means the original trilogy, not the new ones. Having put Derrick off for weeks and months, Milo is out of excuses and politely goes inside to see Derrick’s meager collection. Derrick thinks he’s got enough valuable collector’s items to build an empire on. Milo already has Kiki as a clingy hanger-on, he doesn’t need another one.
As Milo tactfully escapes from Derrick’s, he’s met by a demanding Kiki. Milo is late, why is he late? Kiki’s life is grounded in routine, she’s upset that Milo is not keeping his regular schedule and she’s come to find him. Kiki berates Derrick for delaying Milo, but she is struck with happiness upon seeing that Derrick is wearing a Star Wars shirt. The two bond instantly and suddenly Milo is the odd man out. But happily so. Lost in their mutual Star Wars excitement, Derrick and Kiki go inside, suddenly oblivious to Milo.
Lonely old Mrs. Kendall tries too lure Milo into her house for some conversation with the promise of tea. He’s cold, it sounds good, but he’s got to keep to his rounds. Then she ups the ante “I’ve got Jammie Dodgers.” His eyes light up. “Jammie Dodgers?”
Milo sits with Mrs. Kendall dunking his Jammie Dodger cookie into his tea. In an effort to make small talk she tells him she’s been a widow for three years and misses her husband. She asks Milo if he’s married. “No.” “Ever been?” “No.” “Hope to be?” “Not sure.” “Gay?” He nearly chokes on his Jammie Dodger. “No, ma’am.” “Anyone special?” “I’m working on it.” She puts more Jammie Dodgers on his plate.
Milo meets with a shady character and hands over some post office goods. Sheets and sheets of stamps, government issued checks, and the like. The man negotiates a price with Milo. Several hundred pounds. Milo squawks at this, surely it’s almost £800 worth of stuff. The man hisses, “YOU wanna fence 'em? You have any idea what I have to do to cash these? Ain't easy, mate.” Milo relents and takes the £300.
Milo saunters into a small copy shop and makes a full size color photocopy of the doctored flower show poster. Looks as good as new.
Later that night when Maria stops by Franco’s place he doesn’t have the motorcycle. He admits that they didn’t even get up to Palmer’s Green. They stopped in a pub along the way, met some guy from the pub who took them to see yet another guy who could get him some discounted DVD players for the shop. “And did you get them?” “Not yet. But next shipment, he’s gonna call me.” She skeptical and tries to hide her disappointment that he couldn’t even follow through on things for one day.
Milo prints about 100 copies of a flyer on bright yellow paper. “Neighbourhood Pot Party -- Come one, come all! Join me in celebration of Bob Marley's birthday! Free Samples Available -- Discounts to Neighbours!” On the flyer is the time, date, and the address of the Jamaican man. He's amused. “Discounts to neighbours!” He laughs at his own work. He glances at his cat Nicky and chuckles. “Devious AND funny.”
After the flyers are printed, Milo prints out just one copy of a schedule for local dog races. He puts Kiki’s address on it…but the next day he deliberately delivers it to Derrick’s house. He then waits and watches for Derrick to discover the mis-delivered mail. Milo is pleased when Derrick walks it over to Kiki’s street and ends up taking her to a dog race.
With his sneaky matchmaking task behind him, Milo continues his daily posting duties. Each house gets a bright yellow flyer added to their mail. He spies the little freckled faced girl up ahead, playing by her front gate. Milo catches her eye. Motions her toward him. She goes to him – after all, he’s not a stranger, he’s their postman – and he guides her down a bit of alleyway next to the house. He sits. Pats the ground next to him.
In a bookstore Arthur sneaks looks at books in the self-help section. One book with its glossy cover facing forward catches his eye, he picks it up and studies the blurb on the back. “Professor LaFree?” He turns and is face-to-face with a pretty young student, Scarlet, smiling back at him. “Hi, I thought that was you. I’m Scarlet…” “Oh yes, Scarlet, yes of course. You’re in my modernism literature class.” As he speaks he surreptitiously puts the book back on the shelf, making sure its cover is facing away this time. Scarlet flirts with him, and Arthur is charming and polite as ever. The nicer he is the more she flirts. After a bit of small talk they part ways. “See you in class.” But as Arthur moves on Scarlet doubles back, picks up the book he tried to hide. Flips it to read the title. “Moving Past the Hurt: Picking Up the Pieces After Your Partner Cheats”. She smirks. Target acquired.
Back in the alley, the little girl sits beside Milo. He says that he knows that her dad has gone away for some time now. And he’s noticed a new man in her mum’s life. She nods, none too happy about it. Milo says that the same thing happened to him…
Milo narrates a little story for her [seen in flashback]…Little Milo’s dad died, and he takes it upon himself to comfort his mum. As a result they grew much closer. They had special times together watching TV together, sharing popcorn. Little Milo was proud to be the man of the house, doing manly chores like taking out the trash. His mum was proud of him. But one day a new man entered the picture. And this man seemed to make his mum really happy, but Milo resented having his position as man of the house usurped. Milo tells the freckled faced girl that after time though, the new man turned out to be okay, and that she should give her new mum’s man a chance too. The little freckled faced girl’s spirit seems renewed, and she happily skips back home. But Milo’s narration left out the part where Little Milo ground up a box of laxatives and dumped it into the man’s cereal. Later that day Little Milo suppressed a grin as the man dashed to the bathroom. Milo the Meddler was born.
The next day, Milo approaches the dog man’s door only after making sure no one is watching. Mr. Percy carefully opens the door, but only a few inches. BAM! Milo kicks the door open, sending Mr. Percy flying back. Milo darts inside and shuts the door behind him.
Episode 3:
Mrs. Kendall is on the phone with someone from the local council. She’s asking for help with getting her hedge in the front garden trimmed. The nice woman on the phone says they’ll gladly send someone around later in the day to help her. Mrs. Kendall tries to engage her in conversation, starting to explain how her daughter used to help but since she moved away - - “That’s okay, ma’am, I don’t need to know the details. We’ll send someone around this afternoon.” The woman needs to take the next call.
Franco’s flower show date with Maria is a disaster. Due to some mysteriously doctored flyers with the wrong date on them, they missed the flower show. It was last night. He could’ve sworn he had the right date. Maria is disappointed in him. Clearly Franco put very little effort into this. One more strike against him. Maria complains that he doesn’t pay attention to things, and he has poor follow through.
The next day as he eats his usual lunch in the café Milo is delighted to watch as Maria gets some flowers delivered. Wild plum blooms, just like she used to have in her garden in Portugal. She looks even more delighted to see the card – she takes it before anyone else sees it. She mouths to her other waitress friend “from Browning!” She takes the card out of her pocket and looks at it, smiling. As she does, she winds her chain around her finger and then brings the pendant to her lips. Ah yes, Milo grins when she does this. He’s charmed.
But when he leaves the café, he is alone again. Being safely anonymous is becoming unbearably lonely for Milo. He hears Kiki’s familiar brash voice echoing down the street. He turns, half-expecting her to come sidling up next to him. But she doesn’t. She’s walking down the other side of the street holding hands with Derrick. Though he’s sincerely proud of his odd-duck matchmaking, losing Kiki’s attention causes a bit of a sting for Milo. Loneliness. He longs to tell Maria that he is “Browning.”
Mrs. Kendall watches through her front window as the man from the council in her front garden trims her hedge. He’s just about finished, she tries to wave him in, but he keeps working. She has a hot teapot ready to go and a box of Jammie Dodgers laid out on the coffee table. She watches him clear up his gear. She catches his eye at last. “Oh, please come in!” But he waves her off saying, “All finished here. No charge, you’re all done!” He tosses the cut branches into the back of his truck, hops in and drives away.
After some careful writing and rewriting, Milo comes up with the perfect letter asking Maria to meet him. He implies that he probably isn’t good-looking enough, or young enough for her, but hopes she can put that aside and give him a chance. She is delighted and tells her friend that she is finally going to meet her “Browning.” At the appointed time and day Maria waits for him. At this appointed spot – under the statue of Copernicus in all his glory. He is a symbol of the sun and holds the earth in his outstretched hand.
Arthur dismisses his class, they all scramble out. Except for Scarlet who saunters up to him as he packs up his satchel. She chats and flirts with him, the pretext being that she is having trouble understanding parts of Virginia Woolf’s To The Lighthouse. “She writes some of the longest, most rambling sentences in the English language!” she complains, half joking. Arthur agrees, “Yes, any modern editor would never let her get away with that today. It can be difficult reading.” She jokes that he would be kicked out of the literature society if they heard him say that. He sits in a desk next to her and during their small talk he learns that her major is art history and her favorite artist is Frida Kahlo. She deftly folds her flirting into the small talk when she mentions how odd it is that Frida had an affair with Trotsky. But she carefully adds “Her husband had an affair and she was so hurt that she had an affair with Trotsky just to get revenge. I don’t blame her at all. Do you?” She touches his hand. He’s flustered. Scarlet asks him if he would like to join her at Starbucks to discuss the book. He clearly wants to, badly, but declines.
Milo waits for Maria in the park - in typical Milo fashion - watching from afar, safely hidden from view behind a caretaker’s shed. At first he’s a bit shocked and delighted to see her there at the Copernicus statue. “She’s here. She showed up. Jesus!” He takes one last look at himself in a grimy window and is stunned and disappointed at his reflection. He stares at himself.
Hours later in the pub, Arthur stares at Milo, open-mouthed. “You what?! You stood her up?! What the hell were you thinking?!” Milo is miserable. He explains that he had gotten so used to being charming and romantic in his letters that he sort of forgot the real Milo. He had this false image of himself. And when he saw his reflection, he was suddenly struck by how unlikely it was that Maria would be attracted to him at all. Better to not ruin it – just leave things as they are, and she can have this image of a suave and handsome “Browning” in her memories. Arthur’s mortified, but can understand where Milo’s coming from. He feels Milo’s exquisite pain.
Arthur rummages through the shed in his back garden, in the dark, flashlight in his mouth as he digs out some old notes and books. Huge hassle, boxes everywhere, dust and dirt all over him. Finally he finds what he’s looking for, some papers, and begins to put the boxes back. Then he sees a hardback book. “The Collected Poems of Lord Byron.” He picks it up and gives it a long hard look.
Franco is drowning his romantic sorrows in the pub with a friend. He mentions his problem that he keeps screwing up by not paying attention to details and not following through and it’s frustrating Maria and pushing her away. The friend chimes in. “Oh, yeah, that’s ADD. You needs meds, mate.”
That night, Maria is devastated by being stood up and gets drunk in her flat with her friend Alma. She supposes that “Browning” changed his mind, doesn’t want to meet her in person, is just toying with her. Disappointment washes over her on so many layers. “Browning” stood her up. Franco isn’t very romantic. But after realizing that “Browning” is not going to come to pass she wonders if she shouldn’t just take Franco up on his recent offer of marriage. “Men, they always disappoint, don’t they?”
Episode 4:
The next morning after the disastrous date Milo glides invisibly down his normal route. As he passes 28 Welling Street the Jamaican man is being led out of his house in handcuffs. Milo passes this chaotic scene without a glance.
Eventually he reaches Mr. Percy’s door. Milo has a key this time, and lets himself in with stealth. Inside, the tiny cage that housed poor dog, Echo, is still there – but the dog is gone. In her place is Mr. Percy himself, gagged and beaten and cramped into the tiny cage. Milo has been teaching him a lesson and treating Mr. Percy like he deserves to be treated. Milo also has been monitoring his packages and knows that Mr. Percy has been receiving child pornography for some time from “Pyramid Products.” This is the research Milo had been doing on the community computer at work. Milo keeps Mr. Percy caged for a while longer to teach him a lesson.
Franco sits in a doctor’s waiting room. He fidgets, tries to read a magazine. Can’t focus on it, flings it back onto the table. Later again, at a pharmacy, they hand him his ADD medication and explain how to take it and how fast it will work. Pretty fast.
After class Arthur pulls Scarlet aside and says he happened to find his old notes on To The Lighthouse that he took when he was a graduate student and maybe she’ll find them helpful. He says he just happened to run across them. She is thrilled at the specialized attention.
Milo is once again lured into Mrs. Kendall with Jammie Dodgers. As she talks this time he notices her horrible ankles and feet and realizes that something is very, very wrong. She doesn’t go out – including to the doctor – because she just doesn’t want to, it’s painful to walk. She is afraid of doctors, refuses to go. She can’t afford a private house call, she has very limited money. She brushes it off saying that it’s just a part of getting old, she’s accustomed to being housebound.
Milo can’t sneak quietly from delivering mail to Derrick’s house. Derrick practically bolts out of the door as soon as the mail hits the floor. Derrick actually managed to sell something! Milo is shocked. “How?” Derrick doesn’t catch the tone of disbelief. Derrick says he talked to some fellow Star Wars fans at a local screening and they ended up buying a few items. Maybe he’s not such a lummox after all. Derrick proudly says that he has bought him and Kiki tickets to the revival of Star Wars because she’s never seen it in a theater.
Scarlet sits at Starbucks with Arthur looking through his old school notes on To The Lighthouse. She finds this somewhat intimate. She coos about him taking these notes himself, wonders what he was like then, what if she had been a fellow student with him. He’s loving the attention. “I can’t believe you still have notes from school.” “Graduate school.” “Oh, look, you must been bored…you doodled a little picture here.” She flatters him, says it figures that he so thoroughly understood the topic that he had enough mental room left over to doodle in class. When she runs her fingers over his drawing it’s unmistakably sensuous.
Later when Milo delivers his mail to Franco, Franco happily mentions that Maria has finally agreed to marry him. Like a sleepwalker, Milo leaves Franco’s shop. He walks in a daze down the street. The sounds of the street, the cars, the buzz of people don't affect him. He doesn't even stop to deliver the post at the shops, he just trudges on by. He cannot bear to stay anonymous any longer. He heads for the “Cataplana Cafe.”
At the café, Maria rings up a customer. Milo holds his arm straight out in front of him, extending it toward Maria. Seeing this out of the corner of her eye, Maria looks up. Milo is offering a leaf to her, holding it up by its stem, in a stance that mimics Copernicus -- arm outstretched, the earth in his hand.
She sees the leaf. It takes a few seconds for it to register. Then she freezes, stares at it. “It's for you, Maria.” Slightly dazed, she takes the leaf from Milo's hand. He smiles. “I'm Browning.”
Episode 5:
After an awkward pause and much gawking by the patrons, Maria staggers out the back door of the kitchen with Milo following her. She is surprised to say the least. Probably not getting the response he had hoped for, Milo immediate regrets his rash decision and backpedals. But she doesn’t let him. At last she smiles. “So Milo. You’ve come to rescue me. Where are you going to take me?”
Franco is working on the computer in the back of the shop when his cousin comes in. “You’re still looking at how to use your new inventory software? You were doing that when I left. You been sitting there this whole time?” “Yeah.” “I’ve never seen you focus on anything for so long.” It hits Franco that the meds are working. “Oh yeah! And yesterday I arranged all of my invoices and filed them. Been putting that off for weeks.” He mentions that he finally went through his finances and figures that he can afford a new bike of a certain amount. “I can put so much down and finance the rest.” “Really?” “Yeah. Maria makes sure I pay my bills on time so my credit is good. My name is good!” “Your name is everything.”
Arthur and Janine go to park with their seven year-old son Stevie. It’s the same park where Copernicus stands watching over everyone. He asks her how her classes are going lately. She says some of the adults are still struggling with English and need extra tutoring after class. He casually asks if that’s why she was so late the other night. She says yes. Arthur commiserates about some of his classes and heavy workload. Janine suggests he should think about applying to a better college to teach. He says no, he signed on at this school and promised to stay for seven years and he keeps his promises. “I’m loyal like that.”
A nice man shows up at Mrs. Kendall’s house asking if Marshall still lived there. She says no, he’s long gone, “But he sent me the nicest postcard! I just love hearing from people.” She asks him in and he is so nice, he’s willing to sit and talk. Just what she needs! After a while he notices her feet and gets her to talk about them. He easily gets the details because she loves talking with someone. After his “exam” is over and done he admits that he is a doctor. “What a lucky woman I am!”
Later the man calls Milo and tells him that Mrs. Kendall has cellulitis and he will call in a prescription for antibiotics. She’s already agreed to take the medication, but if Milo wants him to pick up the medication and bring it to her it’ll cost another £80, just like today’s house call.
Franco looks at motorcycles. He’s focused. He goes to a few dealerships, checks things out and gets a good bike. Rides it home. Getting his shit together.
While eating dessert on the couch and watching TV Arthur makes a comment about a troubled relationship on the show Janine loves to watch. He says if someone is that unhappy then they should just leave and it would be the kindest thing rather than lie and betray and drag out the inevitable.
That night, Milo, with a certain bounce in his step returns to Mr. Percy’s house. Now off duty, he wears a cheerful green jumper (sweater) and jeans. He lets himself in and lets Mr. Percy out of the cage. Mr. Percy collapses on the floor. Milo wrinkles up his nose. “Christ, it stinks in here.” He flings open some curtains and opens the window. Milo ends his reign of terror over Mr. Percy, telling him that he will continue to monitor his incoming mail, and if Mr. Percy ever breathes a word about this, Milo will ruin him forever by leaking the pedophile stories. But Milo adds that Echo was in such bad shape she had to be put down. Mr. Percy is devastated. Good, he deserves to be.
Milo lets himself out of Mr. Percy's house and is almost to the sidewalk when he hears Kiki's voice, distant, but definitely her voice. He strains to hear. “Milo! I saw you!” Milo turns to Kiki's house next door, looks up and sees Kiki's form silhouetted in a top floor window. Her voice echoes, “I saw you!” She grabs her green notebook, writes frantically. Kiki’s bedroom window provides her a perfect view of Mr. Percy's living room and Milo’s violent treatment of him.
Milo very cautiously slinks in through the back door to Kiki's house. Upstairs he hears Kiki's loud voice babbling on, but can't make out the words. Milo can discern his name being mentioned a few times. Catlike, he moves up the stairs in the darkness.
Kiki is alone, riled up, scribbling in her book. Behind her the door opens. Milo stands in the hall. Sensing him, she slowly turns. They are both still and silent for a second as they size each other up. She grabs her notebook and shouts “I saw you, I saw you!” Oh my God, she documented the whole Mr. Percy episode!
Truly panicked now, Milo grabs her arm and flings her on the bed. He covers her mouth, but her mouth is no match for his hand. She flails and grasps thin air, but he won't let her up. Another shout almost gets out of her. He grabs her pillow and smashes it down over her face, holding it down. “Shut up!” he whispers fiercely. And then it becomes easier. She doesn't squirm. She doesn't flail. She's still. Milo scrambles around looking for her green notebook, and after finding it, he runs down the stairs and out the back door.
Calmer now, Milo straggles home and tosses the incriminating notebook on the table. He flips through the notebook until he comes to the last page. Scribbled messily is Kiki's last entry: “Milo: jeans, green jumper! Green jumper! Not blue trousers. Milo wore green!” Milo thrusts his head into his hands in anguish. “Green jumper?! That's all she saw?! Green jumper!!” He throws her notebook across the room.
Later, Milo lays in bed quietly, but his eyes are wide open. “Nobody saw. I'll be okay.”
Episode 6:
While Franco is at work the next day, Milo takes a few of Mr. Percy’s packages, repackages them and delivers them to Franco’s apartment. Then Milo calls the police and gives them Franco’s name and address and tells them that he is in position of child pornography and lord knows what else.
Kiki’s street is full of police cars and police constables. They question Milo only casually as he strides through on his daily route. The police think it was just a random break-in gone wrong. They show no interest in Milo. But despite being in the clear, Milo throws suspicion onto Derrick, mentioning that Derrick had been dating Kiki recently and seemed “a bit rough.”
Milo visits his brother-in-law Arthur. They watch as Janine and Arthur’s young son plays with Echo in the yard. Echo is bandaged and still a bit ragged-looking, but much improved. Her tongue hangs out as she happily chases the little boy around the yard. Arthur is impressed. “I can’t believe you spent £400 on a stray.” Milo smiles. “Poor thing needed help, couldn’t just leave her, could I?”
As Franco approaches his home he is met by a swarm of police officers. They’ve already searched his house and shove packages at him. “These were found in your home, sir. Can you explain?” Clearly, he cannot.
In Milo’s skewed sense of justice the pedophile dog beater Mr. Percy gets away with a slap on the wrist and a stern warning, whereas Franco -- whose only crime is that he is Maria’s boyfriend -- will have his life ruined. Even if Franco doesn’t go to prison, his record of suspected pedophilia will haunt him forever.
After hearing of Milo’s big upcoming date Arthur yearns for his own little romantic adventure. He meets his student Scarlet at an exhibition at a museum on Virginia Woolf and the Bloomsbury group. Though Scarlet clearly is treating this as a date, Arthur tries to maintain that this is just something he thought might help her further understand Virginia Woolf. But at one point during the night Arthur presents Scarlet with a book of romantic poetry, the Lord Byron book. “Oh, Byron.” Scarlet gasps. He says, “These are from the - -” “Romantic era.” She knows. “The most romantic poems,” she notes. Can’t pass this off as school-related.
That night Milo takes Maria for their big date. After a few awkward false starts, they get to the heart of the date. Milo takes her to a charming little garden spot with special meaning to him. It’s an herbal garden for a nearby botanical school, and Milo jokingly tells her that it’s a garden for blind people called the Smell Garden. “Really?” she asked, intrigued. “No.” he says, deadpan. “Good story though, isn’t it?”
Milo shows her around the garden. They pick leaves from each of the herbs and smell them all, some good, some stinky! Then he tries to impress her with a picnic dinner, but things don’t go as planned in the Smell Garden. Milo tries a little too hard, he thinks everything goes wrong. Far from thinking it’s quite the disaster that Milo does, Maria is charmed and won over by his sweet attempts. Milo thinks he’s ruined his chances, and despite Maria’s reassurances, he closes himself off and tells her that she is better off accepting Franco’s marriage proposal. He’s convinced they were both better off when he was anonymous. The night ends badly. Milo’s anger is directed at himself, but Maria is hurt.
Derrick is taken into police custody. He is questioned about Kiki’s death. He bawls and insists he doesn’t know anything. After a night of questioning the cops are satisfied that Derrick indeed knows nothing. “The man’s an idiot.”
Milo doesn’t want to linger at the café today. He delivers the mail and leaves. As he leaves, he notices the crabby old Portuguese woman yelling at Maria – they speak in Portuguese, he has no idea what they are arguing about, but she’s making Maria cry. Despite their disastrous date, Milo still loves Maria and is infuriated that the old lady is making Maria weep. He knows exactly what to do.
Episode 7:
At home, Milo gets some peanut oil and expertly injects some into the gourmet chocolates. They look untouched and perfect. He writes a short note. “Thanks for being a good neighbour.” He signs it with an illegible scrawl, and then tucks it under the ribbon. Next morning, Milo plunks the pretty box of chocolates through the old lady’s post slot. “Enjoy, you nasty old cow.”
Mrs. Kendall’s leg is much better and she ventures out to the park, sits on a bench. Happy to be outside. Another elderly woman sits beside her, happy to chat.
After some soul-searching, Milo realizes that he must go and apologize to Maria for how he treated her after the date. But when he gets to the café, he is greeted not by sweet, demure Maria, but an unfamiliar, furious and hurt Maria. She finally knows who her suitor is and now it’s her turn to talk! When Milo apologizes for ruining the date by taking her to such a stupid place, she fires back. “It wasn't ruined by where we went, it was ruined by YOU! Your inability to trust that just being you was good enough, your need to try and live up to the fantasy you have in your head, some fantasy you think I am expecting! Yes, I loved your letters, but I don't expect you to be that way all the time! I like you, just how YOU are!” She starts to soften a bit when she sees Milo’s puppy dog eyes, but she doesn’t want to lose her anger. “I kept each leaf that we picked in the garden. I was going to press them, I wanted to remember that night.” She ratchets her anger up again. “So if you don't like being that person, if you insist on trying to live up to some impossibly literate and suave personality that doesn't really exist, then go on and do it with someone else!”
It’s time for Milo to either withdraw forever, or come forward. He goes to her. He lays himself on the line. He’s there for her. No fancy letters. No wooing. No poetry. Just Milo. And she loves him.
That night, Milo finally gets to make love to Maria. They spend a beautiful passionate night in her flat. He has won the love of the woman of his dreams just by finally being himself. Heaven.
Derrick sits in his local pub, blustery and still a buffoon, but sad. He has two tickets for Star Wars but now only needs one. But in untypical Derrick fashion he declines to sell the second ticket for a few pounds to a willing buyer. He’d rather go alone.
Janine finds out that Arthur went to the Bloomsbury exhibit with a student. “Is this payback for my affair last year?” He says no, but she presses. He says “You just want me to have an affair because that would let you off the hook for yours! But I didn’t, so you’ll have to just live with your guilt a little longer.”
In the morning, Milo and Maria lay romantically in each other’s arms. But she reluctantly pulls away explaining she will come right back, she just needs to go down the road to her aunt’s house and feed her dog. She doesn’t want to forget since she’d had a big argument over it with her. Milo is surprised, he didn’t know she had any family in London. She says yes, just an aunt, in fact he knows her, she’s the crabby old Portuguese woman at the café. Milo laughs. Yes, he does indeed know her.
After a few passionate kisses, she grudgingly pulls herself away from him and heads out. Milo gets up and makes some tea for them, anxious for her to come back.
Down the road Maria lets her aunt’s dog in, and as he eats, she picks the mail up off the floor. “Mmm, chocolates.” After putting them aside, she can’t resist and opens the box. The dog looks up, hearing the sound of chewing. Maria protests to the dog, “What? I’ll just have a few.”
Milo snuggles back down into bed with his tea. But something pokes him. He reaches down into the bed and finds Maria’s pendant – the chain broken in a moment of passion. He smiles as he looks at it. He gets a closer look. A look of sheer terror crosses his face. He leaps out of bed and bolts out the door.
Milo runs down the road, barefoot, at top speed. “Mar-iiii-aaa!!” he screams.
CLOSE UP OF PENDANT: Medic-Alert necklace. “Extreme allergy to peanuts.”
Milo continues to bolt down the road, screaming as he goes. “Mar-iiii-aaaa!”
But Maria, in full anaphylactic shock, is writhing and gasping for breath on the kitchen floor -- her eyes bulging, her body is in full seizure -- she can't breathe, she's not breathing --she's trying to gasp for air -- it's not coming --
Milo suddenly bursts through the door. He sees her writhing on the floor and lunges for her, panicking. “Oh my God, what do I do? What do I do?” He dashes for the phone and dials 999. “Come on, come on, come on!” He kneels beside Maria, desperately trying to help, but literally not knowing what to do.
Maria's time is running out. She is in the agonizing last throes of asphyxiation -- Milo watches in horror -- tears streaming down his face -- he's trying to listen to the medical officer on the phone, but she's dying in front of him! “Oh God! Maria!!!” He screams into the phone, “HUURRYYY!!!” He is screaming like a child and tearing his hair out – but what can he do?!
Minutes later, two emergency medical technicians carry Maria's dead body out the door on a stretcher. Milo is numb. A kind nurse tries to soothe him. “Mr. Finch, it was too late when you got here, she was already in anaphylactic shock. Without an immediate shot of epinephrine, there's nothing you could have done for her.” Milo watches through the open door as they load her body into the ambulance. “It's not your fault.”
Episode 8:
The night of Maria’s death. Milo sits on Maria's bed, exhausted. His eyes are swollen and red, he's been crying for ages.
Milo remembers what she said about keeping leaves from their date, he checks her coat pockets. There they are. But he also finds a letter with his name. It is her first attempt at a love letter for him. “Dearest Milo, please don't laugh at my first attempt. I've never written a love letter before. But after receiving so many beautiful letters from you that touched my heart, I was happy tonight that I now know who you are, and will be able to give this to you on our first date tomorrow night….” This is almost too much for Milo to bear. Her letter goes on, but the ending is Milo’s undoing. “I think you do not lack courage, Milo. In my eyes you are noble, and will always live up to what I expect of the man who will win my heart.”
Milo is a mess. He is grieving, heart-broken and now horrified at himself. “Noble?! I’m noble?!” Tears stream down his face. He catches his reflection in a mirror. “I'm not fucking noble!!!” He can barely stand to look at himself. His sobs gradually subside. He looks himself straight in the eye. “Be noble, Milo Finch.”
Derrick goes to the screening of Star Wars alone. He sits next to Kiki’s empty seat. Derrick sobs as he watches Han Solo shoot Stormtroopers and rush onto the Millennium Falcon. Doesn’t even wipe the tears away, just lets them run down his face.
Franco’s lawyer tell him “Most likely you’ll be back home in a few days, but you need to stay in London, watch yourself during the investigation. I’m sorry to say that regardless of the outcome of their investigation you’ll still be registered as a sex offender in the national registry for the rest of your life. I’m guessing you’ll end up with probation for a year or so.” “So I can’t leave London?” “Only with the permission of your parole officer, you’ll need to arrange any out of town excursion with him ahead of time.” “But I’m starting up a travel business…out of town trips on bikes.” “No. That’s not going to work.” And he warns Franco that he might face scorn from everyone, maybe even retribution from angry citizens.
Arthur admits to Janine that he did really want to have affair just to get some attention from someone but the only reason he didn’t was then he’d lose the moral high ground and he wanted to be the victim, not the bad guy. He kind of wanted to hold it against Janine…and that’s not healthy. If he had the affair then she would feel let off the hook, and he didn’t want her to feel her guilt wiped away. “I gave Scarlet your Byron book, the one I gave you when we were dating. I thought it was a huge romantic gesture back then. Then I saw it in the shed. Spine’s never been broken. I knew you never read any of them. I thought, ‘She’ll never even notice it’s gone.’ But nothing happened with her because I wanted to be the bigger person, but when you actually say you’re the bigger person then you’re not the bigger person.”
Milo sits at the interrogation table in the police station. The detective on Kiki's case sits across from him. Milo is calm, steady. Milo places Kiki's green notebook on the table in front of them. “I killed Kiki Monroe.” The detective seems disbelieving, gives a scoffing laugh. Milo puts his own notebook on the table next to Kiki's. “And there's a few other things I'd like to clear up.”
Two months later:
Arthur gets a phone call. “An inmate from Her Majesty’s Prison Wormwood Scrubs is attempting to contact you. To accept the charges please press one.” Arthur has about eight postcards spread out on his table. Most are from places in England, Arthur explains that they have some from places where they’ve gone in England on little trips. Milo’s cat Nicky plops down on the postcards. “So how often should I send, like once a fortnight? I’ll run out pretty fast.” Arthur looks happy about using his postcard collection. “Okay, yeah, I could do that. We’ve got some nice stationery somewhere. What name am I signing?”
Mrs. Kendall is handed a postcard from a new postman. She looks at the back, beams and says “Marshall.”
Milo trudges along house to house in a working class London neighborhood delivering his mail. Most ignore him. He’s just “the postman.” One sweet old woman, Mrs. Kendall, meets him at her door. They have their usual exchange – she hopes for some ‘good’ mail, and Milo disappoints her daily. Only bills and catalogues. No one writes to this lonely old woman. Milo chats with her, jokes with her and brings a little sunshine to her drab day.
Later Milo takes a break, leans on a garden wall halfway down the road. Makes notes in a small, unofficial-looking notebook. “Number 28 Welling Street, student loans three years in default now, third letter re: threat of wage garnishments...number 30 Welling Street, child support payments stopped three months ago, new lawyer on the case...lots of typos...not terribly professional...” Observations and details about his customers that are much too personal to be of any “official” use.
“Number 32 Welling Street...Jamaican man, mother of his child still in prison on charges of selling marijuana, child stays with his sister...cold bastard...” Milo narrows his eyes in concentration... straining to remember before continuing with his notes. “Two letters a week from Holloway Prison... childlike handwriting.... And still nothing for Mrs. Kendall, only bills and advertisement flyers. Daughter in...Nottingham? Son in Shropshire. But still...nothing.”
Glances at his large satchel -- an envelope with a loose flap catches his eye. He pries the envelope open expertly with one hand, snatches several 10 pound notes out of it, and pockets them. He glares over at the Jamaican man sunning himself in his tiny front garden. “Stupid man...sending cash to the insurance company. It says right on it, line five – ‘do not send cash!’”
He is interrupted by the brash Kiki, an overly-friendly mildly retarded woman who latches onto Milo on his daily rounds. He is used to her, and they walk together to the Portuguese café where Milo stops for lunch each day. Kiki chatters about her passion, betting on dog races. On the street they notice a man being abusive to his dog. Kiki begins to shout at him, but Milo silences her. “That’s no way to handle this,” he says a bit enigmatically.
At the café, Milo tolerates Kiki shadowing him as he waits for his brother-in-law Arthur to join him for lunch. Milo returns from the restroom to see that Kiki has sat in his seat and is reading the menu. Her loud voice rings out. “Mr. Paddy - receives checks on the second Friday of every month. Number 128 Cody Avenue, Mrs. Larson, goes for hair appointment every other Friday...” Shit! She's not reading the menu, she's got his notebook! “Why do you need to know those things, Milo?” Milo whips his notebook out of her hands before anyone pays any notice to them. The implications are lost on her. She happily shows Milo that she has a notebook too. She keeps track of what she wears each day, what her dog eats, what her mum wore each day. Routine things that help her navigate through life. Milo is slightly flattered to see that he merits a page too. The fact that Milo wears the same dark blue postal uniform everyday appeals to Kiki’s sense of routine.
Arthur, a literature professor, joins Milo for lunch, and Kiki is waved off to another table. Arthur and Milo joke and argue good-naturedly until Arthur comes to the heart of the matter. “Which one is she?” Arthur knows Milo well, and knows that Milo has a crush on a waitress who works here, and would logically choose her table at which to sit. Arthur is right. When Maria the waitress approaches, Milo is suddenly tongue-tied and goofy. Arthur urges Milo to speak up, charm her, woo her. Milo says that he IS wooing her…in his own way. “Oh Jesus, not those letters again?”
Milo mentions to Arthur that the Jamaican man on his route is a drug dealer who is letting his girlfriend take the fall for him. “She writes all the time from prison. Childlike writing, probably not very bright.” Arthur sympathizes but states, “I don’t even want to know how you know that.” Pretty detailed information for a postman to know.
Milo watches as Maria absent-mindedly winds her necklace around her finger, shortening the chain then gently biting on the pendant. “She always does that,” Milo says, adoring her habitual quirk. Milo watches as she picks up the letter that he himself has just delivered, always in a pale blue envelope. She smiles, and pockets the letter.
Maria’s letter is charming, romantic and endearing. But it is only signed “Browning” at the end, in reference to the poet Robert Browning who wrote many romantic poems and love letters to Elizabeth Barrett, whom he later married.
But Maria has a boyfriend, Franco, who runs a shop down the road. A nice enough man, but to Milo the simple fact that Maria is his girlfriend means that Franco has committed the ultimate crime. Franco gives Maria a surprise – modern gold earrings. A sweet gesture by Franco that will surely be used against him by Milo’s devious ways.
At home Milo expertly doctors a postcard to look as if it were sent from Loch Ness and smudges a vague signature at the bottom. He chats with his cat Nicky as he works on his masterpiece postcard. Together they decide to make the illegible signature start with an M since many of names start with M.
While sorting his day’s post, Milo skillfully and gracefully steals officially looking envelopes from a bulk mailing. He obviously knows what goes in and out of the post every week.
Back at the post office Milo’s coworkers are dazzled when Milo shows off his amazing savant-like skill of being able to accurately tell what’s in each piece of mail by looking only at the back of each envelope. He even knows how to tell which greeting cards have cash and which have checks without opening them. He stops a coworker from stealing a £5 note from a child’s birthday card.
While delivering a package to Mr. Percy, the abusive man with the dog, Milo sees the dog is being kept in a cage far too small. This dog is suffering at her owner’s hands. Milo says nothing. Makes a note in his notebook, then goes on his way.
Kiki attends one of her usual socialization events in a community center along with other mentally handicapped and slower people. Kiki gets a bit boisterous and overexcited, tossing her full cup of punch onto the table. One of the chaperones, a tall thin kind-looking woman, gently scolds her for being too impulsive. Kiki is clearly unhappy with being scolded.
Milo surfs the net on a community computer at work. After he leaves, a few coworkers enter and laughingly say that no one uses these computers for work-related things. To prove their point they go to the browser and click on the last website that was viewed: “Pyramid Products” – the site Milo was on. They’re horrified. It’s a porn site with kids well below the age of consent. Luckily for Milo they don’t know who last used that computer.
As they sit in a pub, Arthur nudges Milo to flirt with a woman. As Milo is failing miserably trying to be suave and charming in person, Maria is at home devouring Milo’s anonymous love letter which is full of charm and romance. The difference between Milo-in-person and Milo-on-paper is never more evident. In person he is a social disaster.
At home, Milo waits as Nicky poops in the litter box. “More please,” Milo encourages his cat to do more. Milo takes the poopy litter, mixes it with some other foul garbage, and strategically places some junk mail into the mix. This is junk mail that Milo has held back from Franco’s shop – with Franco’s name and address clearly displayed.
That night, Milo gleefully sprawls his junk mail and garbage concoction all down the high street near Franco’s shop.
At Arthur’s house he sets the table as his wife Janine, Milo’s sister, makes dinner. Arthur mentions that he saw her brother earlier. He mentions the love letters but Janine only says “Oh, those bloody love letters again.” Arthur isn’t quite so dismissive of them. “I don’t, know, love letters, wooing, romance, those things are sadly going out of fashion. I think that’s a shame.” But Janine sees no romance in Milo’s behavior. “No wonder he didn’t pass the psych test to a be a PC.” (Police constable.) Arthur grabs some candlesticks and puts them on the table. When she asks him what he’s doing, he says he thought they could do with a bit of romance. She gestures to the TV and couch and says “But…I kinda wanted to watch Bixby and Riggs. It’s season finale.” He just says “Oh. Alright.” And puts the candles back.
In a fast food joint Franco scarfs down his burger, Maria picks at her fries. He excitedly tells her what his cousin told him. The cousin was talking to an older family friend who was dying to take a road trip on a motorcycle out in the countryside, but didn’t know how to ride one. So the cousin rode him down to Brighton taking the scenic route, they ate at a beach cafe and then rode back, taking a different route. The man said it was a dream come true and was so grateful to the cousin that he ended up giving the cousin £200. The cousin tells Franco that they should start their own company where they take people like that on day trips. And for extra money they would even do weekend trips up to the Lake District or wherever the people wanted to go. Maria nods, “Yeah, that could work.” He asks why she isn’t more excited. Maria says he always starts things but doesn’t finish them. “You were going to give guitar lessons, then you wanted to give Portuguese lessons. Those could’ve been done easily out of he back room of the store or at home. And you still didn’t bother.” “But this is a really good idea.” “Yes. But you had no interest in this yesterday. And I think no interest tomorrow.”
The next day, Milo greets the lonely Mrs. Kendall. Today he has some ‘good’ mail for her! Looks like someone sent her a postcard from Loch Ness. They can’t read the messy signature, but Milo thinks the name begins with M. She thinks about it and thinks it might’ve been sent by a past boarder named Marshall. Milo agrees that yep, the signature probably says Marshall. Someone remembered her! She cradles her cherished postcard. Milo beams. Another happy customer.
Kiki is with her mum on the train platform trying to make their way through the crowd to head home. Mum runs into someone she knows, and as mums tend to do she stands there for ages chatting. Kiki is bored, impatient standing on the crowded platform. She kicks a big heavy trashcan repeatedly. Loudly. Several steps away Kiki’s chaperone from her earlier event turns when she hears the noise. The chaperone shakes her head no and wags her disapproving finger at Kiki. With her mum’s back turned there is no one to stop Kiki as she impulsively leaps forward and shoves the chaperone, hard! Kiki turns back around to her mum before she even notices that he chaperone teeters on the edge of the platform just as the train approaches. At the last second a stranger grabs the chaperone and pulls her to safety. Kiki doesn’t even notice…or maybe she doesn’t care.
Franco mentions to Milo that he is going to take Maria to a special flower show over in Camberwell. Maria has said how she misses the semi-tropical flowers of Portugal. Franco is determined to put some effort into this date to impress Maria, who for some reason seems a bit distracted lately. Franco doesn’t know about her secret pile of pale blue love letters and the tokens of her secret admirer’s affections – leaves, rocks, natural things that “Browning” claims mimics her natural beauty. Surely when her secret admirer claims that modern garish things like bright gold jewelry do not suit her natural beauty it is a coincidence that she just received such a gift from Franco.
Milo is in high spirits after visiting Franco and seeing his junk mail garbage handiwork did the trick. He even invites Kiki to join him for lunch. Milo is amused at hearing a “my-ailment-is-worse-than-yours” competition between two old ladies at the next table. A crabby old Portuguese woman berates her friend for thinking that swollen ankles were worth complaining about. After all, the crabby old Portuguese woman accidentally ate peanuts last week, and her eyes were swollen shut for two days – surely that’s worse than swollen ankles. Though Milo is amused at the conversation, Kiki takes offence at the old lady’s berating tone and loudly chastises her. Maria intervenes and calms Kiki down, and Milo is even more taken by her gentle and sweet demeanor.
Later in the cafe, Maria confides in her friend Alma, saying she wishes Franco was more like her secret admirer, “Browning.” At the height of her frustration Maria says “I wish I could be with him. Browning, come rescue me!” Milo nearly tips over his tea when he overhears her. This changes everything! Dare he make himself known?
Episode 2:
Milo sits in a park writing a love letter for Maria. But he is distracted when he sees a little freckled-faced girl strolling nearby with her parents. The parents walk hand-in-hand. The girl walks lags behind, left all on her own. Milo watches her…perhaps a little too closely.
Franco tells Maria that he and his cousin are serious about their motorcycle tour endeavor. The cousin knows a guy who will sell his bike to Franco, and they’re off to see him up in Palmer’s Green. She wants to believe this time he’ll follow through, so she encourages him to go up to North London to take a look.
Milo waits for his order in the brightly lit Chinese take-away. He sees a mini-poster taped to the wall. "Camberwell Flower Show". With the grace of an experienced thief he glides over, pulls it down, rolls it up, shoves it in his pocket before anyone even looks in his direction.
At home with a mouth full of Chinese food Milo skillfully doctors the date on the poster. Instead of the date reading the 14th, it now reads the 15th.
On his rounds the next day, Milo is cornered by dimwitted Derrick, late 20s but still living at home with his mum. Derrick is eager to show Milo his Star Wars collection. Derrick is quick to point out that he means the original trilogy, not the new ones. Having put Derrick off for weeks and months, Milo is out of excuses and politely goes inside to see Derrick’s meager collection. Derrick thinks he’s got enough valuable collector’s items to build an empire on. Milo already has Kiki as a clingy hanger-on, he doesn’t need another one.
As Milo tactfully escapes from Derrick’s, he’s met by a demanding Kiki. Milo is late, why is he late? Kiki’s life is grounded in routine, she’s upset that Milo is not keeping his regular schedule and she’s come to find him. Kiki berates Derrick for delaying Milo, but she is struck with happiness upon seeing that Derrick is wearing a Star Wars shirt. The two bond instantly and suddenly Milo is the odd man out. But happily so. Lost in their mutual Star Wars excitement, Derrick and Kiki go inside, suddenly oblivious to Milo.
Lonely old Mrs. Kendall tries too lure Milo into her house for some conversation with the promise of tea. He’s cold, it sounds good, but he’s got to keep to his rounds. Then she ups the ante “I’ve got Jammie Dodgers.” His eyes light up. “Jammie Dodgers?”
Milo sits with Mrs. Kendall dunking his Jammie Dodger cookie into his tea. In an effort to make small talk she tells him she’s been a widow for three years and misses her husband. She asks Milo if he’s married. “No.” “Ever been?” “No.” “Hope to be?” “Not sure.” “Gay?” He nearly chokes on his Jammie Dodger. “No, ma’am.” “Anyone special?” “I’m working on it.” She puts more Jammie Dodgers on his plate.
Milo meets with a shady character and hands over some post office goods. Sheets and sheets of stamps, government issued checks, and the like. The man negotiates a price with Milo. Several hundred pounds. Milo squawks at this, surely it’s almost £800 worth of stuff. The man hisses, “YOU wanna fence 'em? You have any idea what I have to do to cash these? Ain't easy, mate.” Milo relents and takes the £300.
Milo saunters into a small copy shop and makes a full size color photocopy of the doctored flower show poster. Looks as good as new.
Later that night when Maria stops by Franco’s place he doesn’t have the motorcycle. He admits that they didn’t even get up to Palmer’s Green. They stopped in a pub along the way, met some guy from the pub who took them to see yet another guy who could get him some discounted DVD players for the shop. “And did you get them?” “Not yet. But next shipment, he’s gonna call me.” She skeptical and tries to hide her disappointment that he couldn’t even follow through on things for one day.
Milo prints about 100 copies of a flyer on bright yellow paper. “Neighbourhood Pot Party -- Come one, come all! Join me in celebration of Bob Marley's birthday! Free Samples Available -- Discounts to Neighbours!” On the flyer is the time, date, and the address of the Jamaican man. He's amused. “Discounts to neighbours!” He laughs at his own work. He glances at his cat Nicky and chuckles. “Devious AND funny.”
After the flyers are printed, Milo prints out just one copy of a schedule for local dog races. He puts Kiki’s address on it…but the next day he deliberately delivers it to Derrick’s house. He then waits and watches for Derrick to discover the mis-delivered mail. Milo is pleased when Derrick walks it over to Kiki’s street and ends up taking her to a dog race.
With his sneaky matchmaking task behind him, Milo continues his daily posting duties. Each house gets a bright yellow flyer added to their mail. He spies the little freckled faced girl up ahead, playing by her front gate. Milo catches her eye. Motions her toward him. She goes to him – after all, he’s not a stranger, he’s their postman – and he guides her down a bit of alleyway next to the house. He sits. Pats the ground next to him.
In a bookstore Arthur sneaks looks at books in the self-help section. One book with its glossy cover facing forward catches his eye, he picks it up and studies the blurb on the back. “Professor LaFree?” He turns and is face-to-face with a pretty young student, Scarlet, smiling back at him. “Hi, I thought that was you. I’m Scarlet…” “Oh yes, Scarlet, yes of course. You’re in my modernism literature class.” As he speaks he surreptitiously puts the book back on the shelf, making sure its cover is facing away this time. Scarlet flirts with him, and Arthur is charming and polite as ever. The nicer he is the more she flirts. After a bit of small talk they part ways. “See you in class.” But as Arthur moves on Scarlet doubles back, picks up the book he tried to hide. Flips it to read the title. “Moving Past the Hurt: Picking Up the Pieces After Your Partner Cheats”. She smirks. Target acquired.
Back in the alley, the little girl sits beside Milo. He says that he knows that her dad has gone away for some time now. And he’s noticed a new man in her mum’s life. She nods, none too happy about it. Milo says that the same thing happened to him…
Milo narrates a little story for her [seen in flashback]…Little Milo’s dad died, and he takes it upon himself to comfort his mum. As a result they grew much closer. They had special times together watching TV together, sharing popcorn. Little Milo was proud to be the man of the house, doing manly chores like taking out the trash. His mum was proud of him. But one day a new man entered the picture. And this man seemed to make his mum really happy, but Milo resented having his position as man of the house usurped. Milo tells the freckled faced girl that after time though, the new man turned out to be okay, and that she should give her new mum’s man a chance too. The little freckled faced girl’s spirit seems renewed, and she happily skips back home. But Milo’s narration left out the part where Little Milo ground up a box of laxatives and dumped it into the man’s cereal. Later that day Little Milo suppressed a grin as the man dashed to the bathroom. Milo the Meddler was born.
The next day, Milo approaches the dog man’s door only after making sure no one is watching. Mr. Percy carefully opens the door, but only a few inches. BAM! Milo kicks the door open, sending Mr. Percy flying back. Milo darts inside and shuts the door behind him.
Episode 3:
Mrs. Kendall is on the phone with someone from the local council. She’s asking for help with getting her hedge in the front garden trimmed. The nice woman on the phone says they’ll gladly send someone around later in the day to help her. Mrs. Kendall tries to engage her in conversation, starting to explain how her daughter used to help but since she moved away - - “That’s okay, ma’am, I don’t need to know the details. We’ll send someone around this afternoon.” The woman needs to take the next call.
Franco’s flower show date with Maria is a disaster. Due to some mysteriously doctored flyers with the wrong date on them, they missed the flower show. It was last night. He could’ve sworn he had the right date. Maria is disappointed in him. Clearly Franco put very little effort into this. One more strike against him. Maria complains that he doesn’t pay attention to things, and he has poor follow through.
The next day as he eats his usual lunch in the café Milo is delighted to watch as Maria gets some flowers delivered. Wild plum blooms, just like she used to have in her garden in Portugal. She looks even more delighted to see the card – she takes it before anyone else sees it. She mouths to her other waitress friend “from Browning!” She takes the card out of her pocket and looks at it, smiling. As she does, she winds her chain around her finger and then brings the pendant to her lips. Ah yes, Milo grins when she does this. He’s charmed.
But when he leaves the café, he is alone again. Being safely anonymous is becoming unbearably lonely for Milo. He hears Kiki’s familiar brash voice echoing down the street. He turns, half-expecting her to come sidling up next to him. But she doesn’t. She’s walking down the other side of the street holding hands with Derrick. Though he’s sincerely proud of his odd-duck matchmaking, losing Kiki’s attention causes a bit of a sting for Milo. Loneliness. He longs to tell Maria that he is “Browning.”
Mrs. Kendall watches through her front window as the man from the council in her front garden trims her hedge. He’s just about finished, she tries to wave him in, but he keeps working. She has a hot teapot ready to go and a box of Jammie Dodgers laid out on the coffee table. She watches him clear up his gear. She catches his eye at last. “Oh, please come in!” But he waves her off saying, “All finished here. No charge, you’re all done!” He tosses the cut branches into the back of his truck, hops in and drives away.
After some careful writing and rewriting, Milo comes up with the perfect letter asking Maria to meet him. He implies that he probably isn’t good-looking enough, or young enough for her, but hopes she can put that aside and give him a chance. She is delighted and tells her friend that she is finally going to meet her “Browning.” At the appointed time and day Maria waits for him. At this appointed spot – under the statue of Copernicus in all his glory. He is a symbol of the sun and holds the earth in his outstretched hand.
Arthur dismisses his class, they all scramble out. Except for Scarlet who saunters up to him as he packs up his satchel. She chats and flirts with him, the pretext being that she is having trouble understanding parts of Virginia Woolf’s To The Lighthouse. “She writes some of the longest, most rambling sentences in the English language!” she complains, half joking. Arthur agrees, “Yes, any modern editor would never let her get away with that today. It can be difficult reading.” She jokes that he would be kicked out of the literature society if they heard him say that. He sits in a desk next to her and during their small talk he learns that her major is art history and her favorite artist is Frida Kahlo. She deftly folds her flirting into the small talk when she mentions how odd it is that Frida had an affair with Trotsky. But she carefully adds “Her husband had an affair and she was so hurt that she had an affair with Trotsky just to get revenge. I don’t blame her at all. Do you?” She touches his hand. He’s flustered. Scarlet asks him if he would like to join her at Starbucks to discuss the book. He clearly wants to, badly, but declines.
Milo waits for Maria in the park - in typical Milo fashion - watching from afar, safely hidden from view behind a caretaker’s shed. At first he’s a bit shocked and delighted to see her there at the Copernicus statue. “She’s here. She showed up. Jesus!” He takes one last look at himself in a grimy window and is stunned and disappointed at his reflection. He stares at himself.
Hours later in the pub, Arthur stares at Milo, open-mouthed. “You what?! You stood her up?! What the hell were you thinking?!” Milo is miserable. He explains that he had gotten so used to being charming and romantic in his letters that he sort of forgot the real Milo. He had this false image of himself. And when he saw his reflection, he was suddenly struck by how unlikely it was that Maria would be attracted to him at all. Better to not ruin it – just leave things as they are, and she can have this image of a suave and handsome “Browning” in her memories. Arthur’s mortified, but can understand where Milo’s coming from. He feels Milo’s exquisite pain.
Arthur rummages through the shed in his back garden, in the dark, flashlight in his mouth as he digs out some old notes and books. Huge hassle, boxes everywhere, dust and dirt all over him. Finally he finds what he’s looking for, some papers, and begins to put the boxes back. Then he sees a hardback book. “The Collected Poems of Lord Byron.” He picks it up and gives it a long hard look.
Franco is drowning his romantic sorrows in the pub with a friend. He mentions his problem that he keeps screwing up by not paying attention to details and not following through and it’s frustrating Maria and pushing her away. The friend chimes in. “Oh, yeah, that’s ADD. You needs meds, mate.”
That night, Maria is devastated by being stood up and gets drunk in her flat with her friend Alma. She supposes that “Browning” changed his mind, doesn’t want to meet her in person, is just toying with her. Disappointment washes over her on so many layers. “Browning” stood her up. Franco isn’t very romantic. But after realizing that “Browning” is not going to come to pass she wonders if she shouldn’t just take Franco up on his recent offer of marriage. “Men, they always disappoint, don’t they?”
Episode 4:
The next morning after the disastrous date Milo glides invisibly down his normal route. As he passes 28 Welling Street the Jamaican man is being led out of his house in handcuffs. Milo passes this chaotic scene without a glance.
Eventually he reaches Mr. Percy’s door. Milo has a key this time, and lets himself in with stealth. Inside, the tiny cage that housed poor dog, Echo, is still there – but the dog is gone. In her place is Mr. Percy himself, gagged and beaten and cramped into the tiny cage. Milo has been teaching him a lesson and treating Mr. Percy like he deserves to be treated. Milo also has been monitoring his packages and knows that Mr. Percy has been receiving child pornography for some time from “Pyramid Products.” This is the research Milo had been doing on the community computer at work. Milo keeps Mr. Percy caged for a while longer to teach him a lesson.
Franco sits in a doctor’s waiting room. He fidgets, tries to read a magazine. Can’t focus on it, flings it back onto the table. Later again, at a pharmacy, they hand him his ADD medication and explain how to take it and how fast it will work. Pretty fast.
After class Arthur pulls Scarlet aside and says he happened to find his old notes on To The Lighthouse that he took when he was a graduate student and maybe she’ll find them helpful. He says he just happened to run across them. She is thrilled at the specialized attention.
Milo is once again lured into Mrs. Kendall with Jammie Dodgers. As she talks this time he notices her horrible ankles and feet and realizes that something is very, very wrong. She doesn’t go out – including to the doctor – because she just doesn’t want to, it’s painful to walk. She is afraid of doctors, refuses to go. She can’t afford a private house call, she has very limited money. She brushes it off saying that it’s just a part of getting old, she’s accustomed to being housebound.
Milo can’t sneak quietly from delivering mail to Derrick’s house. Derrick practically bolts out of the door as soon as the mail hits the floor. Derrick actually managed to sell something! Milo is shocked. “How?” Derrick doesn’t catch the tone of disbelief. Derrick says he talked to some fellow Star Wars fans at a local screening and they ended up buying a few items. Maybe he’s not such a lummox after all. Derrick proudly says that he has bought him and Kiki tickets to the revival of Star Wars because she’s never seen it in a theater.
Scarlet sits at Starbucks with Arthur looking through his old school notes on To The Lighthouse. She finds this somewhat intimate. She coos about him taking these notes himself, wonders what he was like then, what if she had been a fellow student with him. He’s loving the attention. “I can’t believe you still have notes from school.” “Graduate school.” “Oh, look, you must been bored…you doodled a little picture here.” She flatters him, says it figures that he so thoroughly understood the topic that he had enough mental room left over to doodle in class. When she runs her fingers over his drawing it’s unmistakably sensuous.
Later when Milo delivers his mail to Franco, Franco happily mentions that Maria has finally agreed to marry him. Like a sleepwalker, Milo leaves Franco’s shop. He walks in a daze down the street. The sounds of the street, the cars, the buzz of people don't affect him. He doesn't even stop to deliver the post at the shops, he just trudges on by. He cannot bear to stay anonymous any longer. He heads for the “Cataplana Cafe.”
At the café, Maria rings up a customer. Milo holds his arm straight out in front of him, extending it toward Maria. Seeing this out of the corner of her eye, Maria looks up. Milo is offering a leaf to her, holding it up by its stem, in a stance that mimics Copernicus -- arm outstretched, the earth in his hand.
She sees the leaf. It takes a few seconds for it to register. Then she freezes, stares at it. “It's for you, Maria.” Slightly dazed, she takes the leaf from Milo's hand. He smiles. “I'm Browning.”
Episode 5:
After an awkward pause and much gawking by the patrons, Maria staggers out the back door of the kitchen with Milo following her. She is surprised to say the least. Probably not getting the response he had hoped for, Milo immediate regrets his rash decision and backpedals. But she doesn’t let him. At last she smiles. “So Milo. You’ve come to rescue me. Where are you going to take me?”
Franco is working on the computer in the back of the shop when his cousin comes in. “You’re still looking at how to use your new inventory software? You were doing that when I left. You been sitting there this whole time?” “Yeah.” “I’ve never seen you focus on anything for so long.” It hits Franco that the meds are working. “Oh yeah! And yesterday I arranged all of my invoices and filed them. Been putting that off for weeks.” He mentions that he finally went through his finances and figures that he can afford a new bike of a certain amount. “I can put so much down and finance the rest.” “Really?” “Yeah. Maria makes sure I pay my bills on time so my credit is good. My name is good!” “Your name is everything.”
Arthur and Janine go to park with their seven year-old son Stevie. It’s the same park where Copernicus stands watching over everyone. He asks her how her classes are going lately. She says some of the adults are still struggling with English and need extra tutoring after class. He casually asks if that’s why she was so late the other night. She says yes. Arthur commiserates about some of his classes and heavy workload. Janine suggests he should think about applying to a better college to teach. He says no, he signed on at this school and promised to stay for seven years and he keeps his promises. “I’m loyal like that.”
A nice man shows up at Mrs. Kendall’s house asking if Marshall still lived there. She says no, he’s long gone, “But he sent me the nicest postcard! I just love hearing from people.” She asks him in and he is so nice, he’s willing to sit and talk. Just what she needs! After a while he notices her feet and gets her to talk about them. He easily gets the details because she loves talking with someone. After his “exam” is over and done he admits that he is a doctor. “What a lucky woman I am!”
Later the man calls Milo and tells him that Mrs. Kendall has cellulitis and he will call in a prescription for antibiotics. She’s already agreed to take the medication, but if Milo wants him to pick up the medication and bring it to her it’ll cost another £80, just like today’s house call.
Franco looks at motorcycles. He’s focused. He goes to a few dealerships, checks things out and gets a good bike. Rides it home. Getting his shit together.
While eating dessert on the couch and watching TV Arthur makes a comment about a troubled relationship on the show Janine loves to watch. He says if someone is that unhappy then they should just leave and it would be the kindest thing rather than lie and betray and drag out the inevitable.
That night, Milo, with a certain bounce in his step returns to Mr. Percy’s house. Now off duty, he wears a cheerful green jumper (sweater) and jeans. He lets himself in and lets Mr. Percy out of the cage. Mr. Percy collapses on the floor. Milo wrinkles up his nose. “Christ, it stinks in here.” He flings open some curtains and opens the window. Milo ends his reign of terror over Mr. Percy, telling him that he will continue to monitor his incoming mail, and if Mr. Percy ever breathes a word about this, Milo will ruin him forever by leaking the pedophile stories. But Milo adds that Echo was in such bad shape she had to be put down. Mr. Percy is devastated. Good, he deserves to be.
Milo lets himself out of Mr. Percy's house and is almost to the sidewalk when he hears Kiki's voice, distant, but definitely her voice. He strains to hear. “Milo! I saw you!” Milo turns to Kiki's house next door, looks up and sees Kiki's form silhouetted in a top floor window. Her voice echoes, “I saw you!” She grabs her green notebook, writes frantically. Kiki’s bedroom window provides her a perfect view of Mr. Percy's living room and Milo’s violent treatment of him.
Milo very cautiously slinks in through the back door to Kiki's house. Upstairs he hears Kiki's loud voice babbling on, but can't make out the words. Milo can discern his name being mentioned a few times. Catlike, he moves up the stairs in the darkness.
Kiki is alone, riled up, scribbling in her book. Behind her the door opens. Milo stands in the hall. Sensing him, she slowly turns. They are both still and silent for a second as they size each other up. She grabs her notebook and shouts “I saw you, I saw you!” Oh my God, she documented the whole Mr. Percy episode!
Truly panicked now, Milo grabs her arm and flings her on the bed. He covers her mouth, but her mouth is no match for his hand. She flails and grasps thin air, but he won't let her up. Another shout almost gets out of her. He grabs her pillow and smashes it down over her face, holding it down. “Shut up!” he whispers fiercely. And then it becomes easier. She doesn't squirm. She doesn't flail. She's still. Milo scrambles around looking for her green notebook, and after finding it, he runs down the stairs and out the back door.
Calmer now, Milo straggles home and tosses the incriminating notebook on the table. He flips through the notebook until he comes to the last page. Scribbled messily is Kiki's last entry: “Milo: jeans, green jumper! Green jumper! Not blue trousers. Milo wore green!” Milo thrusts his head into his hands in anguish. “Green jumper?! That's all she saw?! Green jumper!!” He throws her notebook across the room.
Later, Milo lays in bed quietly, but his eyes are wide open. “Nobody saw. I'll be okay.”
Episode 6:
While Franco is at work the next day, Milo takes a few of Mr. Percy’s packages, repackages them and delivers them to Franco’s apartment. Then Milo calls the police and gives them Franco’s name and address and tells them that he is in position of child pornography and lord knows what else.
Kiki’s street is full of police cars and police constables. They question Milo only casually as he strides through on his daily route. The police think it was just a random break-in gone wrong. They show no interest in Milo. But despite being in the clear, Milo throws suspicion onto Derrick, mentioning that Derrick had been dating Kiki recently and seemed “a bit rough.”
Milo visits his brother-in-law Arthur. They watch as Janine and Arthur’s young son plays with Echo in the yard. Echo is bandaged and still a bit ragged-looking, but much improved. Her tongue hangs out as she happily chases the little boy around the yard. Arthur is impressed. “I can’t believe you spent £400 on a stray.” Milo smiles. “Poor thing needed help, couldn’t just leave her, could I?”
As Franco approaches his home he is met by a swarm of police officers. They’ve already searched his house and shove packages at him. “These were found in your home, sir. Can you explain?” Clearly, he cannot.
In Milo’s skewed sense of justice the pedophile dog beater Mr. Percy gets away with a slap on the wrist and a stern warning, whereas Franco -- whose only crime is that he is Maria’s boyfriend -- will have his life ruined. Even if Franco doesn’t go to prison, his record of suspected pedophilia will haunt him forever.
After hearing of Milo’s big upcoming date Arthur yearns for his own little romantic adventure. He meets his student Scarlet at an exhibition at a museum on Virginia Woolf and the Bloomsbury group. Though Scarlet clearly is treating this as a date, Arthur tries to maintain that this is just something he thought might help her further understand Virginia Woolf. But at one point during the night Arthur presents Scarlet with a book of romantic poetry, the Lord Byron book. “Oh, Byron.” Scarlet gasps. He says, “These are from the - -” “Romantic era.” She knows. “The most romantic poems,” she notes. Can’t pass this off as school-related.
That night Milo takes Maria for their big date. After a few awkward false starts, they get to the heart of the date. Milo takes her to a charming little garden spot with special meaning to him. It’s an herbal garden for a nearby botanical school, and Milo jokingly tells her that it’s a garden for blind people called the Smell Garden. “Really?” she asked, intrigued. “No.” he says, deadpan. “Good story though, isn’t it?”
Milo shows her around the garden. They pick leaves from each of the herbs and smell them all, some good, some stinky! Then he tries to impress her with a picnic dinner, but things don’t go as planned in the Smell Garden. Milo tries a little too hard, he thinks everything goes wrong. Far from thinking it’s quite the disaster that Milo does, Maria is charmed and won over by his sweet attempts. Milo thinks he’s ruined his chances, and despite Maria’s reassurances, he closes himself off and tells her that she is better off accepting Franco’s marriage proposal. He’s convinced they were both better off when he was anonymous. The night ends badly. Milo’s anger is directed at himself, but Maria is hurt.
Derrick is taken into police custody. He is questioned about Kiki’s death. He bawls and insists he doesn’t know anything. After a night of questioning the cops are satisfied that Derrick indeed knows nothing. “The man’s an idiot.”
Milo doesn’t want to linger at the café today. He delivers the mail and leaves. As he leaves, he notices the crabby old Portuguese woman yelling at Maria – they speak in Portuguese, he has no idea what they are arguing about, but she’s making Maria cry. Despite their disastrous date, Milo still loves Maria and is infuriated that the old lady is making Maria weep. He knows exactly what to do.
Episode 7:
At home, Milo gets some peanut oil and expertly injects some into the gourmet chocolates. They look untouched and perfect. He writes a short note. “Thanks for being a good neighbour.” He signs it with an illegible scrawl, and then tucks it under the ribbon. Next morning, Milo plunks the pretty box of chocolates through the old lady’s post slot. “Enjoy, you nasty old cow.”
Mrs. Kendall’s leg is much better and she ventures out to the park, sits on a bench. Happy to be outside. Another elderly woman sits beside her, happy to chat.
After some soul-searching, Milo realizes that he must go and apologize to Maria for how he treated her after the date. But when he gets to the café, he is greeted not by sweet, demure Maria, but an unfamiliar, furious and hurt Maria. She finally knows who her suitor is and now it’s her turn to talk! When Milo apologizes for ruining the date by taking her to such a stupid place, she fires back. “It wasn't ruined by where we went, it was ruined by YOU! Your inability to trust that just being you was good enough, your need to try and live up to the fantasy you have in your head, some fantasy you think I am expecting! Yes, I loved your letters, but I don't expect you to be that way all the time! I like you, just how YOU are!” She starts to soften a bit when she sees Milo’s puppy dog eyes, but she doesn’t want to lose her anger. “I kept each leaf that we picked in the garden. I was going to press them, I wanted to remember that night.” She ratchets her anger up again. “So if you don't like being that person, if you insist on trying to live up to some impossibly literate and suave personality that doesn't really exist, then go on and do it with someone else!”
It’s time for Milo to either withdraw forever, or come forward. He goes to her. He lays himself on the line. He’s there for her. No fancy letters. No wooing. No poetry. Just Milo. And she loves him.
That night, Milo finally gets to make love to Maria. They spend a beautiful passionate night in her flat. He has won the love of the woman of his dreams just by finally being himself. Heaven.
Derrick sits in his local pub, blustery and still a buffoon, but sad. He has two tickets for Star Wars but now only needs one. But in untypical Derrick fashion he declines to sell the second ticket for a few pounds to a willing buyer. He’d rather go alone.
Janine finds out that Arthur went to the Bloomsbury exhibit with a student. “Is this payback for my affair last year?” He says no, but she presses. He says “You just want me to have an affair because that would let you off the hook for yours! But I didn’t, so you’ll have to just live with your guilt a little longer.”
In the morning, Milo and Maria lay romantically in each other’s arms. But she reluctantly pulls away explaining she will come right back, she just needs to go down the road to her aunt’s house and feed her dog. She doesn’t want to forget since she’d had a big argument over it with her. Milo is surprised, he didn’t know she had any family in London. She says yes, just an aunt, in fact he knows her, she’s the crabby old Portuguese woman at the café. Milo laughs. Yes, he does indeed know her.
After a few passionate kisses, she grudgingly pulls herself away from him and heads out. Milo gets up and makes some tea for them, anxious for her to come back.
Down the road Maria lets her aunt’s dog in, and as he eats, she picks the mail up off the floor. “Mmm, chocolates.” After putting them aside, she can’t resist and opens the box. The dog looks up, hearing the sound of chewing. Maria protests to the dog, “What? I’ll just have a few.”
Milo snuggles back down into bed with his tea. But something pokes him. He reaches down into the bed and finds Maria’s pendant – the chain broken in a moment of passion. He smiles as he looks at it. He gets a closer look. A look of sheer terror crosses his face. He leaps out of bed and bolts out the door.
Milo runs down the road, barefoot, at top speed. “Mar-iiii-aaa!!” he screams.
CLOSE UP OF PENDANT: Medic-Alert necklace. “Extreme allergy to peanuts.”
Milo continues to bolt down the road, screaming as he goes. “Mar-iiii-aaaa!”
But Maria, in full anaphylactic shock, is writhing and gasping for breath on the kitchen floor -- her eyes bulging, her body is in full seizure -- she can't breathe, she's not breathing --she's trying to gasp for air -- it's not coming --
Milo suddenly bursts through the door. He sees her writhing on the floor and lunges for her, panicking. “Oh my God, what do I do? What do I do?” He dashes for the phone and dials 999. “Come on, come on, come on!” He kneels beside Maria, desperately trying to help, but literally not knowing what to do.
Maria's time is running out. She is in the agonizing last throes of asphyxiation -- Milo watches in horror -- tears streaming down his face -- he's trying to listen to the medical officer on the phone, but she's dying in front of him! “Oh God! Maria!!!” He screams into the phone, “HUURRYYY!!!” He is screaming like a child and tearing his hair out – but what can he do?!
Minutes later, two emergency medical technicians carry Maria's dead body out the door on a stretcher. Milo is numb. A kind nurse tries to soothe him. “Mr. Finch, it was too late when you got here, she was already in anaphylactic shock. Without an immediate shot of epinephrine, there's nothing you could have done for her.” Milo watches through the open door as they load her body into the ambulance. “It's not your fault.”
Episode 8:
The night of Maria’s death. Milo sits on Maria's bed, exhausted. His eyes are swollen and red, he's been crying for ages.
Milo remembers what she said about keeping leaves from their date, he checks her coat pockets. There they are. But he also finds a letter with his name. It is her first attempt at a love letter for him. “Dearest Milo, please don't laugh at my first attempt. I've never written a love letter before. But after receiving so many beautiful letters from you that touched my heart, I was happy tonight that I now know who you are, and will be able to give this to you on our first date tomorrow night….” This is almost too much for Milo to bear. Her letter goes on, but the ending is Milo’s undoing. “I think you do not lack courage, Milo. In my eyes you are noble, and will always live up to what I expect of the man who will win my heart.”
Milo is a mess. He is grieving, heart-broken and now horrified at himself. “Noble?! I’m noble?!” Tears stream down his face. He catches his reflection in a mirror. “I'm not fucking noble!!!” He can barely stand to look at himself. His sobs gradually subside. He looks himself straight in the eye. “Be noble, Milo Finch.”
Derrick goes to the screening of Star Wars alone. He sits next to Kiki’s empty seat. Derrick sobs as he watches Han Solo shoot Stormtroopers and rush onto the Millennium Falcon. Doesn’t even wipe the tears away, just lets them run down his face.
Franco’s lawyer tell him “Most likely you’ll be back home in a few days, but you need to stay in London, watch yourself during the investigation. I’m sorry to say that regardless of the outcome of their investigation you’ll still be registered as a sex offender in the national registry for the rest of your life. I’m guessing you’ll end up with probation for a year or so.” “So I can’t leave London?” “Only with the permission of your parole officer, you’ll need to arrange any out of town excursion with him ahead of time.” “But I’m starting up a travel business…out of town trips on bikes.” “No. That’s not going to work.” And he warns Franco that he might face scorn from everyone, maybe even retribution from angry citizens.
Arthur admits to Janine that he did really want to have affair just to get some attention from someone but the only reason he didn’t was then he’d lose the moral high ground and he wanted to be the victim, not the bad guy. He kind of wanted to hold it against Janine…and that’s not healthy. If he had the affair then she would feel let off the hook, and he didn’t want her to feel her guilt wiped away. “I gave Scarlet your Byron book, the one I gave you when we were dating. I thought it was a huge romantic gesture back then. Then I saw it in the shed. Spine’s never been broken. I knew you never read any of them. I thought, ‘She’ll never even notice it’s gone.’ But nothing happened with her because I wanted to be the bigger person, but when you actually say you’re the bigger person then you’re not the bigger person.”
Milo sits at the interrogation table in the police station. The detective on Kiki's case sits across from him. Milo is calm, steady. Milo places Kiki's green notebook on the table in front of them. “I killed Kiki Monroe.” The detective seems disbelieving, gives a scoffing laugh. Milo puts his own notebook on the table next to Kiki's. “And there's a few other things I'd like to clear up.”
Two months later:
Arthur gets a phone call. “An inmate from Her Majesty’s Prison Wormwood Scrubs is attempting to contact you. To accept the charges please press one.” Arthur has about eight postcards spread out on his table. Most are from places in England, Arthur explains that they have some from places where they’ve gone in England on little trips. Milo’s cat Nicky plops down on the postcards. “So how often should I send, like once a fortnight? I’ll run out pretty fast.” Arthur looks happy about using his postcard collection. “Okay, yeah, I could do that. We’ve got some nice stationery somewhere. What name am I signing?”
Mrs. Kendall is handed a postcard from a new postman. She looks at the back, beams and says “Marshall.”
To download a PDF version of this TV proposal click here.
To download the script go to the Downloads page.
To download a PDF version of this TV proposal click here.
To download the script go to the Downloads page.